Brussel Sprouts - what they don't want you to know
Some sociologists argue that Brussel sprouts have long played a central role in the British psyche. No one likes them, yet almost without fail we honour them by embracing them into the culinary bosom of our Christmas dinner.
Some people even eat them.
Yesterday, thanks to an industry whistleblower, I got hold of documentary evidence sensationally revealing what was once a closely guarded secret.
What they don’t want you to know is that brussel sprouts are grown on long green sticks. These sticks, complete with blemished camouflage markings, are used by scientists to pump water and other nutrients to each sprout ‘node’. Once fully formed, they are removed and replaced by a new sprout seedlet.
No one from the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs was available for comment.
Meanwhile in related news, many holiday makers appeared visibly shaken on their return from a half-term winter sun getaway, having learnt that bananas grow upside-down.
Some people even eat them.
Yesterday, thanks to an industry whistleblower, I got hold of documentary evidence sensationally revealing what was once a closely guarded secret.
What they don’t want you to know is that brussel sprouts are grown on long green sticks. These sticks, complete with blemished camouflage markings, are used by scientists to pump water and other nutrients to each sprout ‘node’. Once fully formed, they are removed and replaced by a new sprout seedlet.
No one from the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs was available for comment.
Meanwhile in related news, many holiday makers appeared visibly shaken on their return from a half-term winter sun getaway, having learnt that bananas grow upside-down.
1 Comments:
You know, Brussel sprouts get a bad press, and I don't think it is really fair. I’m really quite disappointed in you Paul, jumping on the anti-sprout bandwagon like this.
Sprouts have a place in this world. An important function to perform:
They are the antithesis of the nice stuff in a Christmas dinner. Their somewhat bland but still strangely nauseating taste and granite-like texture only serve to extenuate the joy one feels when they tuck into a roast potato or pig-in-a-blanket.
Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand the little blighters, but then that is kind of the point. The world would just not be the same without them.
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