Celebrity - a hijacked concept

We're all well aware that we live in a celebrity-obsessed culture. But perhaps it is so much part of the wallpaper of our lives that we are blind to its profound influence in the shaping of our culture.

This has struck me twice in the last couple of days. Once, when the word celebrity was used entirely unnecessarily - tautologically, almost - in the description of a television programme, presumably in order to boost its appeal.

And again, when reading an article by Nicky Campbell about footballers, lamenting the way in which these highly paid, over-privileged young men can become self-absorbed and lose any sense of responsibility, other than that of carrying the hopes of the nation.

But before we start to criticise, let's think again.

What does celebrity mean? 'Celebrity' is what we 'celebrate'. And a quick inspection of the media tells us that the things we celebrate are good looks, wealth, talent, fame in and of itself(!), youth, success - not kindness, selflessness, humility, wisdom or integrity.

To borrow Campbell's closing words, perhaps we should ask ourselves this: do we want well-rounded men, or do we want to win the World Cup?

Gushing Praise for Sigur Ros

Monday night saw me at my second Sigur Ros gig, and hopefully not my last. As friends will testify from the last time, I cannot overstate the depth of their talent.

They were amazing. Geniuses. (Or genii if you prefer). They're proper musicians - in between songs, or sometimes during songs, they wander round and start playing a different instrument. The singer/guitarrist would go and play keys, the drummer would play glockenspiel (I don't know exactly what one is but I'm sure they had one), the keyboarder would pick up a piccolo...... The first encore ended with a piano solo from the drummer. Half the time Jonsi, the lead man, was playing his guitar with a violin bow, and for one song the bassist played his bass with a drumstick. Like I say, proper musicians.

On top of this, their ability to capture emotion in words and music is one that would be the envy of many of their peers, and that wouldn't even occur to today's manufactured bands. Filled with melancholy, majestic, crafted crescendos, and everything in between, theirs is a sound that can transport you to another place.

Their abundant talent and creativity is also evident in their videos - from the hauntingly beautiful come-follow-me of Glosoli, to the wonderfully mischievous pensioners of Hoppipolla, to the deeply poignant Viorar vel til loftarasa, which is said to depict the struggle of being gay in the church.

I'm torn between wanting to tell everyone I meet how great they are, and enjoying being part of a well kept secret. So please promise not to tell anyone.

Animals - whose side are they on?

For a long time we've lived in fear of a day when the machines will take over the world. But whilst we've been trying to make the machines submissive to us, it turns out that our efforts might have been better spent seeking allegiances in the animal kingdom.

For it has become evident that animals will be the surprise key players in the success or failure of any attempted coup.

It has emerged over the last few days that a new 'smart barcode' can contain a computer virus, and already cats are being enlisted by both sides for their potential to spread malicious code in new hi-tech ID tags.

Meanwhile, the US army have plans to recruit insects. They want to implant microscopic sensory devices into 'flying, hopping or crawling insects' which will then transmit vital information to their controllers. However as this is something that needs to be done at the larval stage, they are working hard to find donor parents who are willing to sign over some of their offspring, either because of ideological beliefs, or for financial reward.

Pet owners are advised to form loyal bonds wherever possible, and to report any suspicious behaviour.

Offensive politeness

I'm a well brought up lad, and I was always taught to hold the door open for people. But I'm beginning to think that it's nicer not to.

All too often, holding the door for the person behind you forces them to break into a little trot in order to accept your kind gesture. And I'm sure that given the choice between an enforced and ungainly semi-jog and opening a door, they would really rather have opened the door for themselves.

I'm working hard to perfect my it's-because-I-care-that-I'm-not-holding-this-door-open-for-you look. For those of you trying this at home, the eyebrows are the key.

They well and truly got me

And the worst part was that I didn't even know it.

The new England away kit went on sale last week. Like many football fans, I decided that it would be a good buy with the World Cup fast approaching - as we all know, wearing last year's kit just doesn't cut it.

Despite being pretty similar to the one it's replacing, the latest kit is not a bad design. New this season is the option to have someone's squad number on the front as well as the back. To accommodate this, the manufacturer's logo has been moved up onto the shoulder.

I wasn't planning on getting one with a name and number, but looking at it I thought "the logo up there on the shoulder would look stupid without a number underneath, maybe I'll get a number 4 shirt" (I love Steven Gerrard!).

And without even realising, I had played straight into their hands - they had got the add-on sale out of me, and I didn't even realise until my friend Andy pointed it out to me on the weekend.

The sad thing is, I'll probably still do it.

Crash and the human heart

WARNING - MAY SPOIL THE FILM IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT

Congratulations to Crash for winning Best Film at the Oscars last night. I'm no film buff but I know that I enjoyed it a lot.

One of the things I liked about it was that it caught me out.

All the way through the film I found myself strongly identifying with Hanson (the good young cop played by Ryan Phillippe) whilst intensely disliking Ryan (Matt Dillon). And if you've seen it you'll know there was much to dislike about him. Yet towards the end we see that the very same person is also capable of a noble and courageous act.

My smug satisfaction at feeling superior to him was blown away in a moment, and I could not deny that I too am capable of both. I have in me things that are beautiful and honourable and right, and things that are to my shame.

Thanks to the makers for reminding me that the human heart is not black and white.

One Billion Views - Megalomaniac Websites

After the success of Alex Tew's million dollar home page, plenty of people have had similar ideas.

Alex, a 21 year old from Wiltshire (he’s English – hurrah!), sold space on his website one pixel at a time. With a 1000 by 1000 pixel canvas, you could say it’s worked out alright for him.

This spawned plenty of copycat sites which, satisfyingly, haven’t done so well. But the next big one is the race to have a website with one billion visitors. The original appears to be onebillionviews.com, who registered the page on the 30th October just gone, and opened for business in November. An imaginatively titled rival started up on the 17th January, shamelessly claiming the idea as his own.

Things are currently pretty tight, with both sites working towards their first half million, but I know whose side I’m on!

Meanwhile, my ambitions are more modest – double figures in the comments count would make me a happy man!

P.S. A special hello to anyone who has come here from onebillionviews.com - Welcome!!

Official - Working in a coffee bar is social work

Being a qualified social worker whose dream is to run a coffee bar, I am frequently asked whether I plan to go back into social work at some point in the future.

My stock answer for the last couple of years has been a protest that actually, the coffee bar in my head will be more like traditional social work than my last job where my title was 'Social Worker'.

I often get slightly puzzled or sceptical looks by way of reply.

So I was quite pleased when I came across this article in the paper a few weeks ago. According to two American sociologists, the well documented fragmentation of society over the past few decades has led to a culture where we place far more value on individualism and non-dependence on others than we do on connecting with those around us.

This has left many of us dependent on 'hits of intimacy' with strangers as a substitute for the more meaningful sense of belonging that comes from being part of a wider family or community.

And one of the prime examples offered is that of a smile or kind word from the person who serves you coffee every day.

So it's official - working in a coffee bar is social work. Now I just have to convince the General Social Care Council so I can re-register next year.