Offensive politeness
I'm a well brought up lad, and I was always taught to hold the door open for people. But I'm beginning to think that it's nicer not to.
All too often, holding the door for the person behind you forces them to break into a little trot in order to accept your kind gesture. And I'm sure that given the choice between an enforced and ungainly semi-jog and opening a door, they would really rather have opened the door for themselves.
I'm working hard to perfect my it's-because-I-care-that-I'm-not-holding-this-door-open-for-you look. For those of you trying this at home, the eyebrows are the key.
4 Comments:
I've had the same concerns for a long time. Perhaps we need to develop a new etiquette around this.
Is it OK to shout 'hey buddy, if I hold this door open will that make you feel uncomfortable?'.
What are the eyebrow possibilities. And does it matter if you have quite whispy eyebrows, like myself.
Maido
One eyebrow need to be semi-furrowed, expressing empathy, while the other is raised in acknowlegment of your fellow door user. This can work with whispy eyebrows too, although that lends a slightly different intonation.
Surely it depends on for whom one is holding the door open?
A ragged and tired old housewife, out shopping with her five offspring, all bawling as they can't get their ice-lolly wrappers open would prove to be a far more welcoming door-opening target than a retiring middle-class business woman going about her daily business clutching her Starbucks coffee whilst reading Elle magazine.
Pick your victim well, and you'll be rewarded with a smile. Choose the wrong option, and the discomfort may well stay with you for days to come...
this is true. although if she starts off too far away she might not appreciate feeling that she's holding you up as you wait with the door for her.
i made someone trot yesterday morning. it was awkward.
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